Failing Marriage – A Matter of Facts
It’s not easy to admit that things aren’t going well, but the good news is that you could help get things back on track. You can feel successful with your partner again.
You want to be together again. You want to feel happy, joyous, and fulfilled. You want to know that your marriage is going to be a pleasurable experience. But things aren’t going well. You are feeling emotionally disengaged from your partner. You feel like you have to stay away from each other. In short, you feel like you don’t belong.
A failing marriage is hard, and it doesn’t have to be. We have been very good at hiding our feelings from each other regarding the most critical relationship of our lives. We aren’t very good at opening up to our partners. We don’t bring our partners into our lives. If the dynamics of your relationship aren’t working as they should, it isn’t your fault. The bond is going through a rough time.
It isn’t just your fault.
If you are a good spouse, you have done your best to make yourself unnoticeable. Don’t ask your partner to come with you to the closet. Please don’t bring your partner home from work and put him/her down. Please don’t call your partner at 3 am to tell him/her you won’t be home on time. You aren’t good at hiding your feelings. A failing marriage isn’t the fault of two people who are struggling; it is the actions of two people who aren’t good at opening up.
There is an exceptional word in English that means “to be inconsiderate.” That word is “dishonesty.”
A failing marriage is an unpleasant thing. Dishonesty is the cause of a failing marriage. Dishonesty should be the motivation to save your failing marriage.
When you tell lies to your partner, you say that you are someone that your partner never thought you could become. Dishonesty is always a sign of a good person. And it is also a perfect way to save a failing marriage.
A failing marriage can be saved by two people that work together.
A failing marriage can be rebuilt by two people that are willing to let go of their anger and hatred. Honest people are the ones that can save their failing marriage.
Your partner is on your side. It doesn’t matter what you do; you are on the same side. Your partner should be the motivator for you, and he or she should be the one that pulls you into a place that you never thought you could be. It is you who chooses a place that you were never really meant to be. It is you who makes yourself into that place. Your partner will pull you towards him or her, and you will find yourself being drawn to them.
Saving your failing marriage won’t be easy for both of you, but it is possible. To be motivated to keep your failing marriage, you need to be of one mind with the need to save your marriage. And your partner should be the one that needs to keep it.
The truth is you know him or her better than anyone else. You do not doubt the feelings your spouse holds. The marriage is a matter of facts that should be addressed.
A failing marriage should be addressed
Therefore, a failing marriage is a matter of facts that you do not doubt about. You don’t have to pretend that it isn’t a matter of facts. A conjugality is a matter of fact that is important enough to deal with.
Your spouse’s feelings about the marriage are a matter of fact that you do not doubt about. You have every right to feel whatever emotions you want, but the feelings don’t make the marriage. It is a fact that should be addressed.
This isn’t to say that a failing marriage is something that can’t be fixed. But it is a fact that you have to deal with.